I'm Known As the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from the Classic 1990 Film: A Look Back.

The Austrian Oak is best known as an action movie legend. However, in the midst of his star power in the late 20th century, he also starred in several surprisingly great comedies. The standout film is Kindergarten Cop, which marks its 35th anniversary this holiday season.

The Story and That Line

In the classic film, Schwarzenegger plays a undercover cop who masquerades as a schoolteacher to catch a killer. For much of the movie, the crime storyline functions as a simple backdrop for Arnold to film humorous interactions with kids. Arguably the most famous features a child named Joseph, who spontaneously stands up and informs the actor, “Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina.” Schwarzenegger deadpans, “Thank you for that information.”

That iconic child was portrayed by former young actor Miko Hughes. Beyond this role featured a character arc on Full House playing the antagonist to the famous sisters and the character of the child who returns in the screen translation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. Hughes remains active today, with a slate of movies on the horizon. Furthermore, he frequently attends the con circuit. He recently recalled his recollections from the production 35 years later.

Memories from the Set

Question: Starting off, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?

Miko Hughes: I think I was four. I was the smallest of all the kids on set.

Wow, I can't remember being four. Do you have any memories from that time?

Yeah, a little bit. They're brief images. They're like visual recollections.

Do you recall how you landed the job in Kindergarten Cop?

My parents, primarily my mom would take me to auditions. Frequently it was like a cattle call. There'd be dozens of children and we'd all just have to wait, enter the casting office, be in there less than five minutes, deliver a quick line they wanted and that's all. My parents would coach me on the dialogue and then, as soon as I could read, that was some of the first material I was reading.

Do you have a specific memory of meeting Arnold? What was your take on him?

He was extremely gentle. He was playful. He was nice, which I suppose makes sense. It'd be weird if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom, that probably wouldn't make for a productive set. He was a joy to have on set.

“It would have been odd if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom.”

I understood he was a big action star because I was told, but I had barely seen his movies. I felt the importance — like, that's cool — but he didn't frighten me. He was merely entertaining and I only wanted to hang out with him when he was available. He was working hard, but he'd sometimes engage here and there, and we would hang off of his arms. He'd flex and we'd be hanging off. He was really, really generous. He bought every kid in the classroom a personal stereo, which at the time was a major status symbol. It was the coolest device, that funky old yellow cassette player. I listened to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for ages on that thing. It wore out in time. I also have a real silver whistle. He had the coach whistle, and the kids all received one too as well.

Do you remember your experience as being positive?

You know, it's amusing, that movie became a phenomenon. It was a huge film, and it was a wonderful time, and you would think, looking back now, I would want my memories to be of collaborating with Schwarzenegger, the direction of Ivan Reitman, visiting Astoria, the production design, but my memories are of being a selective diner at lunch. For example, they got everyone pizza, but I wasn't a pizza fan. All I would eat was the toppings only. Then, the original Game Boy was just released. That was the hot thing, and I was quite skilled. I was the youngest and some of the other children would bring me their Game Boys to get past hard parts on games because I was able to, and I was really proud of that. So, it's all youthful anecdotes.

The Line

OK, that specific dialogue, do you remember anything about it? Did you know what you were saying?

At the time, I wasn't fully aware of what the word provocative meant, but I understood it was edgy and it made adults laugh. I was aware it was kind of something I wasn't supposed to do, but I was given special permission in this case because it was funny.

“She really wrestled with it.”

How it came about, based on what I was told, was they were still developing characters. A few scenes were established early on, but once they had the kids together, it wasn't pure improvisation, but they refined it on set and, presumably someone in charge came to my mom and said, "We have an idea. We want Miko to deliver this dialogue. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't agree right away. She said, "Give me a moment, I'll decide tomorrow" and took a day or two. It was a tough call for her. She said she was hesitant, but she felt it could end up as one of the unforgettable moments from the movie and she was right.